There is something that God has been asking me to do for a long time, and I keep saying, "no" - somewhat from fear, mostly to sort some things out. But everytime I say no, it hits me that I just disobeyed God. So I return to him humbly and tell him how sorry I am and ask for His forgiveness. And what I feel him saying is, "OK, but I still want you to do this". And then I say, "no - I just can't, Abba". It turns into a vicious cycle. I was so sick of disobeying that I just stopped talking with God about it. And when He would bring it up, I would change the subject. But He's brought it up again. And it's time I said, "Yes, Lord". I've been so stupid and foolish for having said no in the first place. I remember telling myself in the past, "I will never tell God 'no' - not ever, no matter how hard it is to say 'yes'". And when I found myself in that situation, what did I do? I said, "no". Mulled it over, yes. Took it into great consideration, yes. But then decided the risk was just too great - regardless of how much God whispered to my heart, "you need to just trust me". I'm tired of it, and I truly believe that it has robbed me of peace. Not all of my peace and joy - but a good chunk of it. And I am going to claim it back. I want to honor God. I don't want there to be a single thing wedged between me and God. Even if it means doing what's hard, just because He's asking me.

Pray for the Lord to give me strength.

I always have so many great ideas for blogs throughout the week, and then I get to this point: At my computer with not a single idea simmering, waiting to burst out. I need a notebook or something ...

My HH* who is just amazing bought me a Christmas present that is just too much. So we're sharing it. He got me one of those video iPods. All I got him was a ping pong table (although he seems pretty excited about it). I am telling you what - I love it (the iPod). I have been listening to worship music and Bible on CD everywhere. I even downloaded a movie & an episode of The Office that I missed and was so sure I'd never ever be able to see. I listen to the Dirty Dancing Soundtrack (a personal fave - but I can only handle so much of it). AND I LOVE THE PODCASTS. Mostly because: THEY'RE FREE!!! My favorites are: German Grammer, Joyce Meyer, Youth Specialties (for youth leaders), Sean Hannity, Bill O'Reilly, Old Time Radio Shows, and I can't remember the few others I keep tabs on. Joyce Meyer is my absolute favorite. I am always finding myself mumbling (and sometimes shouting) "Amen!" - You realize that "Amen" means "I Beleive", right? I love saying that, too, though .... just as a personal declaration to a particular statement .... "I believe!!"

God could NOT have given me a more wonderful, precious, amazing, handsome, awe-inspiring husband. Well, I know God can certainly do anything - but I just can't imagine it. Dan shows me so much love every day. I only pray that I show him at least half as much. He is just amazing. Everyday he surprises me with another side of his personality and character. I'm always just staring at him in amazement, because I just think to myself, "are we sure this is my husband?? how could I be so lucky??" But God is good! All the time!!!

Horatio is being precious as ever, of course. Always mischevious, but uses his cuteness to ellude the truth. He got a battery operated mouse for Christmas. I haven't been able to put the batteries in yet, but I know he's just going to freak out when I get it working.

Are you wondering how everyone already knows what they're getting for Christmas? It's because we've already gotten them for Christmas. Since we go home to Indiana for Christmas, we try to have our personal Hartstein family Christmas here in Iowa, since this is our home. But we have a pretty busy next couple of weeks on our hands - so we had Christmas on Katie Starkey's birthday - December 1st! I love Christmas :) I'm making most of my presents this year. Although ... I need to start assembling them!

First.. I should probably go to bed. Have a good night!!

Keep Loving Jesus!

*HH = Handsome Husband

An entire month of NOT posting a single word! I hate it when that happens ... ;)

So I'm going through another huge transition period - but it's so good and SO needed. I'm transitioning to working part time at SF and part time at the church as the youth leader. There is so much I want to do, so much that needs to get done soon. (BTW I can't forget to a get a card for 3 different people - 2 lost their mothers within the past month or so, and the other is for Deener, a local 4th grader - she was playing a game at the school and at one point fell forward and broke all of her front teeth. Bless her heart!) <-- does that ever happen to you?? You start tying a story or .. something, and then all of a sudden you think of something that you feel like you just HAVE to write down right now or else you'll forget?? Yeah. Happens to me all the time. - At least I write it down, right?? I'm also getting back into Mary Kay. I have to admit. My blood runs pink. I love it. It's in me. I love the women, I love the parties, I love the rewards, I love enriching women's lives. I have so many dreams, so many plans, and I am confident that I'm going to see them come true. If nothing else - I remember Ron Luce praying over me that millions of dollars would flow through my hands so that I could invest it into the kingdom of God. I truly believe that MK is going to be a vehicle that God is going to use to make that happen. I am getting excited about getting back involved. If you're out of the loop a little bit, I started MK in 2003 and have always enjoyed it. But it was difficult for me to get very far, because I had little guidance. I now have a good friend, Andrea M., who is a director (who actually began her MK business after I did!) and she's going to help me make it happen. I can't wait to get started! I just put it all in God's hands.

In the personal news, no baby yet. Sad. I know it, I know it. I am so disappointed every time my friend comes to visit each month. Because then it's like, "ugggghhhh we have to start all over again!" But ... I guess that's half the fun, right?? (I just had a thought: Gosh I hope my dad doesn't read this site....!) And YES, we are trying. YEA!!!! It'll happen when it's God's right timing. Absolutely! And I'm just praying that we'll be more than ready when that happens.

Youth Group news - we had an awesome lock in a couple Fridays ago and had 35 kids! It was so great. We usually average about 23-24. So 35 has definitely been the most we've had. And the best part is that they are all just becoming apart of my heart. The relationships we're building with them are just unreal. I'm loving every single stinkin minute of it. There's just so much more that we need to do, so much further we need to be. But as long as God is guiding us, we're going to be just fine throughout the entire process. Did I just say process?? What is this a system (well, maybe?)?? Maybe journey or something to that effect would be more appropriate.

Shannon is coming to stay with us soon! I'm really excited about that. I think we're going to have a great time. And then we drop her back off at home and then Dan and I take off for OREGON to see Katie and Michael get MARRIED!! Yea!!!!!!!! We're going to be old and married together! And maybe we'll get pregnant together!! Hmm... probably not with my first one, huh? Oh well. I love Katie so much :)

Well, that's a pretty BRIEF update on what's going on with us these days. Dan's in the middle of his rotations - I didn't mention that. Horatio is being good - didn't mention that.. Oh well. I'll update more later! Have a GREAT night!!!! and visit my MK website - www.marykay.com/andreahartstein!